This is not just your average Hers Magazine sex guide. In fact, if you read those, then simply skip this article since it alone cannot bring you on the right path. If you're still here and are interested in learning how to please your partner as well as to get the most out of a certain part of your sex life then keep reading after the break a set of 10 Rules for Giving and Receiving. Violate them at your own risk! Follow them and not only will enjoy yourself, you will make others enjoy you.
A. When Giving:
1. Oral sex is not a chore!
This is foremost the most important rule! Break this one and everything else falls to pieces. You should enjoy pleasuring your partner, otherwise nothing good will come of it. It’s OK to have sexual arrangements or bets or “tasks” but it should never become a chore in the true sense of the word.
2. Make yourself comfortable!
Sure, you can do it anywhere, in strange new positions but make sure you’re comfortable. If you’re not comfortable you won’t be able to give it your best and you will tire quickly. If you’re tense your partner will tell.
3. Listen with your whole body!
Because the position in which you’re in limits your primary sense, your eyesight and excited thighs can hinder your hearing too it’s crucial you tune your entire body to feed your foresight crucial information. Placing your hands, (they’re free, see #Rule A6) in key areas on your partner’s body, like the pelvis, the navel area, the chest, hands or feet can reveal what they’re entire body is feeling in realtime. Even taste and smell add to the senzorial pool of data you can pick up on. Listen for gasps, moans and sighs of pleasure and you’ll know what to do and when to do it. Knowing how to interpret the involuntary para-verbal feedback you pick up on can make you a true master at it.
4. Insight can be found anywhere but wisdom only within!
Nowadays it’s trivial to find a guide to pleasure your partner. Heck, even porn is good teaching material. And then there’s your social group. Forums, blogs, magazines, mailing groups, newsletters, and articles everywhere pretend they can teach you exactly how to perfectly pleasure your partner but although they’re not all garbage none of them is absolute! Don’t try to bluntly apply something your friend told you works on their partner or something you read in a magazine. Read it, understand the mechanics of why it could work then adapt it to your partner and gently experiment with it. Every person is different so there is no magical general solution to make anyone instantly climax.
5. Tongue and lips are made for pleasure!
You’ve probably heard this before but I'll just put it out there to make sure: never use your teeth to bite, at the most for teasing. Genitals are sensitive areas. Gently explore every part of your partner’s body. Practice makes perfect and remember to push it to the limit. Kiss your partner everywhere but remember to be firm and intense as well, climaxes don’t come from soft caresses alone. Alternate with using your hands to increase your stamina and keep yourself comfortable (see #Rule A6).
6. Use anything and everything!
Oral sex should know no boundaries. Just because it’s “oral” that doesn’t mean you can’t use your hands! On the contrary, you should. They’re much more dexterous and offer grater resistance. Also, use anything else at your disposal, like sex toys or food. Just make sure the both of you are on the same page regarding this particular paraphilia.
7. Oral sex is sex too!
A lot of people seem to forget this trivial fact. Don’t just treat oral like a requirement for regular intercourse or a means to satisfy your partner when you’re not in the mood. While there’s nothing wrong with using it to set the mood, giving head can be a standalone act in itself. Like any other sexual act it too can be preceded by foreplay, such as kissing, massage, undressing your partner, teasing, stripping, dancing or simply creating the right atmosphere via illumination, scent, music and bedding.
8. Make the finish count!
So you spent the last 15 minutes on your knees working for it and now is the decisive moment. Foremost, do not confuse your own preferences with your lover’s: some people like to enjoy the same stimulus right up to the end while others expect a shift in intensity or rhythm. If the latter is true then not only do you need to exercise building up to it but you also need to work on a finishing move. It’s up to you to determine and learn what best suits your partner.
9. Be patient, build up to it and they will cum!
Don’t be disappointed if your lover is not reaching orgasm right away. If you’re both patient and caring and follow all the rules they’ll inevitably climax. Practice makes perfect! Make sure you adhere to #Rules A3 and A4. What’s important is that you give your very best each and everytime.
10. Do not expect your partner to reciprocate!
Braking this rule forces your partner to break #Rule A1. Oral sex can be the gift that keeps on giving but that’s for your partner to decide. Don’t have any expectations when you’re going down on someone. You’re giving them a gift and it shouldn’t have a price tag associated with it.
1. Oral sex is not a chore!
This is foremost the most important rule! Break this one and everything else falls to pieces. You should enjoy pleasuring your partner, otherwise nothing good will come of it. It’s OK to have sexual arrangements or bets or “tasks” but it should never become a chore in the true sense of the word.
2. Make yourself comfortable!
Sure, you can do it anywhere, in strange new positions but make sure you’re comfortable. If you’re not comfortable you won’t be able to give it your best and you will tire quickly. If you’re tense your partner will tell.
3. Listen with your whole body!
Because the position in which you’re in limits your primary sense, your eyesight and excited thighs can hinder your hearing too it’s crucial you tune your entire body to feed your foresight crucial information. Placing your hands, (they’re free, see #Rule A6) in key areas on your partner’s body, like the pelvis, the navel area, the chest, hands or feet can reveal what they’re entire body is feeling in realtime. Even taste and smell add to the senzorial pool of data you can pick up on. Listen for gasps, moans and sighs of pleasure and you’ll know what to do and when to do it. Knowing how to interpret the involuntary para-verbal feedback you pick up on can make you a true master at it.
4. Insight can be found anywhere but wisdom only within!
Nowadays it’s trivial to find a guide to pleasure your partner. Heck, even porn is good teaching material. And then there’s your social group. Forums, blogs, magazines, mailing groups, newsletters, and articles everywhere pretend they can teach you exactly how to perfectly pleasure your partner but although they’re not all garbage none of them is absolute! Don’t try to bluntly apply something your friend told you works on their partner or something you read in a magazine. Read it, understand the mechanics of why it could work then adapt it to your partner and gently experiment with it. Every person is different so there is no magical general solution to make anyone instantly climax.
5. Tongue and lips are made for pleasure!
You’ve probably heard this before but I'll just put it out there to make sure: never use your teeth to bite, at the most for teasing. Genitals are sensitive areas. Gently explore every part of your partner’s body. Practice makes perfect and remember to push it to the limit. Kiss your partner everywhere but remember to be firm and intense as well, climaxes don’t come from soft caresses alone. Alternate with using your hands to increase your stamina and keep yourself comfortable (see #Rule A6).
6. Use anything and everything!
Oral sex should know no boundaries. Just because it’s “oral” that doesn’t mean you can’t use your hands! On the contrary, you should. They’re much more dexterous and offer grater resistance. Also, use anything else at your disposal, like sex toys or food. Just make sure the both of you are on the same page regarding this particular paraphilia.
7. Oral sex is sex too!
A lot of people seem to forget this trivial fact. Don’t just treat oral like a requirement for regular intercourse or a means to satisfy your partner when you’re not in the mood. While there’s nothing wrong with using it to set the mood, giving head can be a standalone act in itself. Like any other sexual act it too can be preceded by foreplay, such as kissing, massage, undressing your partner, teasing, stripping, dancing or simply creating the right atmosphere via illumination, scent, music and bedding.
8. Make the finish count!
So you spent the last 15 minutes on your knees working for it and now is the decisive moment. Foremost, do not confuse your own preferences with your lover’s: some people like to enjoy the same stimulus right up to the end while others expect a shift in intensity or rhythm. If the latter is true then not only do you need to exercise building up to it but you also need to work on a finishing move. It’s up to you to determine and learn what best suits your partner.
9. Be patient, build up to it and they will cum!
Don’t be disappointed if your lover is not reaching orgasm right away. If you’re both patient and caring and follow all the rules they’ll inevitably climax. Practice makes perfect! Make sure you adhere to #Rules A3 and A4. What’s important is that you give your very best each and everytime.
10. Do not expect your partner to reciprocate!
Braking this rule forces your partner to break #Rule A1. Oral sex can be the gift that keeps on giving but that’s for your partner to decide. Don’t have any expectations when you’re going down on someone. You’re giving them a gift and it shouldn’t have a price tag associated with it.
B. When Receiving:
1. Relax and enjoy it!
Just as with #Rule A1, it’s crucial you make yourself comfortable. Relax your entire body. Unwind, lay back, and make the most out of it. Ignore whatever tasks or chores you have. Take a moment for yourself and disregard everything else, no matter what environment you’re surrounded by.
2. Your partner is there to serve you!
Don’t be preoccupied with what your partner is doing but with what you’re feeling. Their comfort is not your concern, it’s something they should assume for themselves. It’s your moment to enjoy so your own person is the main focus.
3. Give feedback!
This doesn’t mean you have to break #Rule B7! Instead you can use your body to hint as to how you’re feeling. Every contraction, every shiver, every moan you make offers your partner precious information without which they wouldn’t be able to give their best. You’re the light that guides them to making you feel great. You may even play a game of hot and cold and whisper your way into ecstasy.
4. Moan, scream, let loose!
Forget your inhibitions and enjoy it to the fullest. Don’t feel ashamed to express yourself. Anything and everything is permitted. You can do anything you like in order to get the most out of this experience.
5. Oral sex is not just foreplay!
Instead of anticipating the next step, why not simply enjoy enjoy what's happening right now? If your partner is going down on you it doesn't mean that at some point you will have to stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Oral sex can be foreplay but it can also be a sexual act in itself. (See #Rule A7)
6. Carpe momento!
Oh my God, this person is going down on me and it feels so amazing, whatever they’re doing! That is exactly what you should be feeling when receiving. Let your wildest fantasies rattle your mind. Work your pleasure! Let your partner be an appendix of your mind!
7. Don’t be verbose unless you both want to!
Since your partner has a mouthful communication might be impaired during the act. Unless either of you have a specific fetish regarding talking you should just zip it and relax. The only sounds coming out of your mouth should be the other persons’ name, monosyllable gibberish, moans and grunts. Trying to dedicate more blood to the speech center of your cortex might severely affect your experience.
8. Reward your partner!
This does not refer to the reciprocity of the act, since that’s not mandatory (See #Rule A10) but more to the comfort and other small related pleasures your partner may be rewarded with while you enjoy yourself. Gentle caresses and touching can positively motivate your lover to continue doing what you like or raise up the bar. Depending on the position you could try to incite them with your hands. Either stimulate erogenous zones, tease them a bit, kiss your lover’s hands, run your fingers through their hair. While your servant for the duration of the sexual act it doesn’t mean the giver shouldn’t be treated lovingly.
9. Embrace the act as much as the climax!
The climax is, as it’s name suggests, the highlight of any sexual act. However, its absence should not deter you to enjoy everything else about receiving head. Don’t be disappointed if you’re not reaching orgasm right away. If you’re both patient and caring and follow all the rules you’ll inevitably climax.
10. Don’t abuse!
Since by its nature oral sex only directly benefits one partner its best you don’t take it for granted. Appreciate what your partner is doing for you and don’t ask for it more often than you’d be willing to return the same favor. It’s your duty to make sure your partner doesn’t have actual reasons to break #Rule A1.
1. Relax and enjoy it!
Just as with #Rule A1, it’s crucial you make yourself comfortable. Relax your entire body. Unwind, lay back, and make the most out of it. Ignore whatever tasks or chores you have. Take a moment for yourself and disregard everything else, no matter what environment you’re surrounded by.
2. Your partner is there to serve you!
Don’t be preoccupied with what your partner is doing but with what you’re feeling. Their comfort is not your concern, it’s something they should assume for themselves. It’s your moment to enjoy so your own person is the main focus.
3. Give feedback!
This doesn’t mean you have to break #Rule B7! Instead you can use your body to hint as to how you’re feeling. Every contraction, every shiver, every moan you make offers your partner precious information without which they wouldn’t be able to give their best. You’re the light that guides them to making you feel great. You may even play a game of hot and cold and whisper your way into ecstasy.
4. Moan, scream, let loose!
Forget your inhibitions and enjoy it to the fullest. Don’t feel ashamed to express yourself. Anything and everything is permitted. You can do anything you like in order to get the most out of this experience.
5. Oral sex is not just foreplay!
Instead of anticipating the next step, why not simply enjoy enjoy what's happening right now? If your partner is going down on you it doesn't mean that at some point you will have to stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Oral sex can be foreplay but it can also be a sexual act in itself. (See #Rule A7)
6. Carpe momento!
Oh my God, this person is going down on me and it feels so amazing, whatever they’re doing! That is exactly what you should be feeling when receiving. Let your wildest fantasies rattle your mind. Work your pleasure! Let your partner be an appendix of your mind!
7. Don’t be verbose unless you both want to!
Since your partner has a mouthful communication might be impaired during the act. Unless either of you have a specific fetish regarding talking you should just zip it and relax. The only sounds coming out of your mouth should be the other persons’ name, monosyllable gibberish, moans and grunts. Trying to dedicate more blood to the speech center of your cortex might severely affect your experience.
8. Reward your partner!
This does not refer to the reciprocity of the act, since that’s not mandatory (See #Rule A10) but more to the comfort and other small related pleasures your partner may be rewarded with while you enjoy yourself. Gentle caresses and touching can positively motivate your lover to continue doing what you like or raise up the bar. Depending on the position you could try to incite them with your hands. Either stimulate erogenous zones, tease them a bit, kiss your lover’s hands, run your fingers through their hair. While your servant for the duration of the sexual act it doesn’t mean the giver shouldn’t be treated lovingly.
9. Embrace the act as much as the climax!
The climax is, as it’s name suggests, the highlight of any sexual act. However, its absence should not deter you to enjoy everything else about receiving head. Don’t be disappointed if you’re not reaching orgasm right away. If you’re both patient and caring and follow all the rules you’ll inevitably climax.
10. Don’t abuse!
Since by its nature oral sex only directly benefits one partner its best you don’t take it for granted. Appreciate what your partner is doing for you and don’t ask for it more often than you’d be willing to return the same favor. It’s your duty to make sure your partner doesn’t have actual reasons to break #Rule A1.